Niles 1950-1970s Three-Flat

It wasn't that long ago we were last in Niles, but it's never too early to return to this north-side suburb where the fifties, sixties and seventies still live.

This sign isn't the only thing about this post that's haff-assed. I had a smudge on my camera lens that you're sure to notice as we go along.

Oh, my.

You don't see these big console hi-fis so much any more, but this one was a fantastic specimen.

This must have been top-of-the-line once upon a time. Solid state, AM/FM/FM stereo (I thought FM was always stereo), phono console and an 8-track tape player/recorder (I didn't even know you could record on 8-tracks). I love that they still had the owner's manual for this baby, some 30-40 years later, and that it came from Montgomery Ward.

After this was delivered, I'm sure someone complained about how complicated it was. "I just want to listen to Paul Harvey in the morning before work. What do I need with all those dials and controls?"

"It's easy, ma. You just pop in one of these 8-tracks and that's it."

"Unless Paul Harvey is on those '8-tracks' I could care less. Just show me how to turn on the radio."

In the kitchen I found this built-in clock, which is quite a beauty. I'd never seen one before, but a few weeks later I saw another one at a sale in Westchester.

This was the extent of the liquor cabinet.

Which explained why this E-Z Read Jigger was still in its packaging.

Just as I was about to leave I saw a display case with some old photos in it. I usually don't bother with this sort of thing, but these -- for obvious reasons -- caught my eye. Let's take a closer look.

What is it about gas masks -- especially the WWI-era versions -- that's so creepy?

The clothes, the pose, that room, those glassy eyes staring straight into the camera... this picture is going to give me nightmares.

Thanks, grandfather!

Purchased: E-Z Read Jigger, $.50.

Viva la Niles!

I love Niles. Not only is it uber-convenient to Estate Sale Stories World HQ in Rogers Park, but it's one of those '60s-'70s suburbs that almost everyone else turns their nose up at. But behind those front doors with their geometric cutouts live some of the swingingest swingers there ever was.

The moment I walked in, I dropped my keys in the first bowl I saw.

I can just picture myself relaxing here after a long day at the office, a tequila sunrise in one hand and a Benson & Hedges Menthol Ultra-Light 120 in the other, waiting patiently for our nation's Bicentennial to arrive.

The view from there certainly is... overwhelming. You better know down deep in your heart those mirror tiles are going to look kick-ass when you put them up, because it's going to take a sledgehammer, a hazmat suit and a mess of stitches in the emergency room to get them down.

Is there a rumpus room downstairs? You bet your subscription to Penthouse Forum there is!

There's a bit of Vegas excitement waiting as well.

I'm not arguing with this slogan, but I can't imagine anything less creative than playing slots. I mean, isn't that what zombies do when they're not dining on human flesh?

In the morning, after a long night of slots and party games with the neighbors, this breakfast nook would be the perfect place for some scrambled eggs and a screwdriver, easy on the OJ.

Then it's into the bathroom for a quick faceful of cold water before heading back to work.

Why yes, this is the Cadillac of bathroom vanities.

Why don't you have a seat and a smoke while I get dressed?

This jacket is about as rumpled as I am hungover, which ain't much. In fact, we're both still in great shape and ready for action. Have a drink waiting for me when I get home!

Purchased: Men's vintage corduroy jacket, $5.

Christmas Comes to Niles

Not only did this house have one of the strangest layouts I've ever seen -- a garage with a kitchen in it, a room behind that for storage, and another beyond with an office and bar, all before you got into the house proper -- it was literally bursting with Christmas accoutrement.

The first room was packed with figurines and Christmas decor, garlands and ornaments and other assorted paraphernalia. Much of it looked as though it had never been taken out of the boxes.

Santas, snow men, children caroling in twos and threes, and bears ready to settle in for a long winter's nap filled this table. And several others just like it.

Watch wear you sit, or you'll ruin Christmas.

A second bedroom featured everything you need for a miniature Christmas village.

Actually, an entire Christmas city.

And its suburbs.

One of these things is not like the others...

Have a cup of Christmas cheer. As a matter of fact, have ten or twenty!